This morning I conducted last-minute luggage checks in preparation for my trip to Brisbane. My partner showed me how to use the locks on my new luggage. Generally, I think he was just trying to spend as much time with me as he could before I left.
I asked him what I should blog about this week. He jokingly said, “why don’t you write about the support networks that make a trip like this possible.” I laughed and said, “you want me to write about your experience as a Ph.D. wife?” Honestly, I think he has the rough end of the pineapple.
I asked him what I should blog about this week. He jokingly said, “why don’t you write about the support networks that make a trip like this possible.” I laughed and said, “you want me to write about your experience as a Ph.D. wife?” Honestly, I think he has the rough end of the pineapple.
We had lunch together at the airport and shared a beer at the Cooper’s Ale House. I had been battling a sense of anxiety and dread all morning but I couldn’t pinpoint the underlying cause. I love to travel, especially flying. I love visiting new places, although I am a bit unsettled at the prospect of going alone. I enjoy having a security blanket, someone by my side to navigate the unknown with me.
Then I realised, it wasn’t just that I like *someone* with me, I like my partner with me. There is a unique sense of comfort, security and strength I get from him that I don’t get from other relationships.
Then I realised, it wasn’t just that I like *someone* with me, I like my partner with me. There is a unique sense of comfort, security and strength I get from him that I don’t get from other relationships.
We talked a little about the circle of security (1). For the unfamiliar, this theory connects our adult patterns of attachment with our experiences as an infant.
As adults, we all inevitably face new situations. The new and unexplored can be exciting for some and frightening for others. I fall into the latter category. Indeed simply attending work for eight hours a day falls into the exciting but exhausting category. Engaging with other people, polite conversation, the activities of everyday life; these can be exhausting.
Extroverts, I am envious of your ability to recharge through social connection (2).
As adults, we all inevitably face new situations. The new and unexplored can be exciting for some and frightening for others. I fall into the latter category. Indeed simply attending work for eight hours a day falls into the exciting but exhausting category. Engaging with other people, polite conversation, the activities of everyday life; these can be exhausting.
Extroverts, I am envious of your ability to recharge through social connection (2).
When I come home at the end of each day I take a deep sigh of relief and begin to relax. I kick off my shoes, put on my bunny slippers, make a cup of tea and start to recharge my battery for the following day.
When I travel alone, I can’t return to my circle of security. I don’t have my family, my partner, my dog or my pillow. I don’t have any of those fundamental supports that recharge me. My partner is my portable battery.
When I travel alone, I can’t return to my circle of security. I don’t have my family, my partner, my dog or my pillow. I don’t have any of those fundamental supports that recharge me. My partner is my portable battery.
Although he is the most visible support in my life, he isn’t the only one. My family is a little (lot) unorthodox and every member has unconditionally and unselfishly supported me over the past four years.
They didn’t blink an eyelid when I said I was signing up for another three years.
When I came home with a weeks’ notice that I would be travelling to Brisbane, they took it in their stride. They all, including my teenage son, take on the lion's share of household chores to lighten my load.
They didn’t blink an eyelid when I said I was signing up for another three years.
When I came home with a weeks’ notice that I would be travelling to Brisbane, they took it in their stride. They all, including my teenage son, take on the lion's share of household chores to lighten my load.
In a few short days I will be graduating. I found out last week that I will be awarded the University medal for academic excellence.
I receive a lot of praise as a PhD candidate. I’m told that what I am doing is remarkable.
These accolades, these acknowledgements for effort and excellence, they belong as much to my family as they do to me because I couldn't do it without them.
I receive a lot of praise as a PhD candidate. I’m told that what I am doing is remarkable.
These accolades, these acknowledgements for effort and excellence, they belong as much to my family as they do to me because I couldn't do it without them.
(1) https://www.circleofsecurityinternational.com/
(2) https://yourworkplace.ca/recharging-for-introverts-extroverts/
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